Batch Day... a few days away! COLLEGE MEMOIRS: Fresher Days

    It was the autumn of 1997.. August 5th if I recollect right! Madurai, where I hail from was, is and always will be a rustic village-city. Having been raised in a very protected environment, the thrust tin to the laps of Chennai belly was daunting to a timid mind like mine. Tucked with  3 sets of new clothes [can u believe the shirt my mom gifted me for college 1st day was from Naidu Hall :)], i was dropped off to stay in my periamma's place. To reach college at 8 am meant I had to leave home at 7.10 am, take a 15 minute walk to the bus stop, most of the times board the bus on "running" at a signal, hop off the bus in running at vadapalani signal, and then again hop on to a 17M or 37G at the K3 police station turning. The levitational effect is still something I still cherish today!
    I used to be part of my school band, and my voice was kinda acceptable, and when ever a girl was around the in bus, it used to be "Smile, an everlasting smile... by Boyzone" or I am sitting here on a lemon tree by Fools' Paradise... only that it didn't create a buzz at all! Then came the hindi songlist comprising.. Tujhe dacha tho ye jana salaam from DDLJ or Dil mera churaya kyon from Akele hum Akele Tum.. but still never created any buzz ever at all!
    Class was even a knot difficult, with my then dean Dr CSP mocking at every facet of my personality... the thick mop of my hair (i lament that today coz its fine and sparse these days), my powdered face (i was probably the only guy to come with a lakme compact - natural ivory powder) and those half face encompassing metal frame glasses: A thin line demarcating my effort to stay hep and the effect i was actually causing - NERD.
   Ah then the Female to male ratio of my batch of 100 - 64 gals n 36 guys!! u can imagine the divide. A few of the gals where NRI's and they singe handedly are responsible for my vocabulary and sense of dressing!!! Having been from an era where instant messaging meant writing "chit notes" and passing them all across the lecture hall.. and still remember two of the life changing chits... "Yogs stop wriggling your butt so much" and "You are such a royal piece of colossal shit." The worst part was i didn't know what wriggling and colossal meant... some body told me "butt" meant ur ass.. and when i blurted why am I being called an ass.. some soul corrected it as Arse...So one now should be able to understand my plight during the IM days of my era.
  Back from a small vacation home, I had managed to add another collection to my sets of clothes, a dark blue full hand shirt with the collars a tard lil then longer (short of those worn by the lead actors in the movie subramaniyapuram) with press buttons and milk white trousers with front cut pockets (they were essentially flicked from my dad's dressing line). It was a defining moment for me to go attired in them to college, and yo lo, there comes my NRI critic, who says "Yogs, all you miss is a leather bag with a strap!" While I was just beginning to bask in the glow of those compliments, she cut short that explicit experience with her concluding remarks, "And you would have looked exactly like the conductor  in my school bus." And if i remember right i managed to bring home those clothes, much to my father's relief.
   It is often quoted, with the worse comes worst, and my plight as a fresher was far from over!!! Out of the blue, I receive a call in d evening, as to from a MBBS senior and in the preceding lightning like moments, the slew of lines of wisdom and words of thought that encompassed the call, sent shivers down my spine (read, a trickle of piss trailing on the sides of my legs). It was an ultimatum, warning of me dire consequences if i fail to show up the following day during lunch, and the line snapped! The hours that followed rendered me dinner less, sleepless, and the rest of next morning endless... to sum it.. it was horrendous!!
   I mustered my guts and walk up to the senior who had apparently called me the previous evening " and i blurt in pauses.. sir neenga innaikku vara sonnenga (sir you asked me to meet you today)." The guy gives a guttural laugh and announces to the rest of his gang "Dei machi inga paaruda, oru apprentice volunteera ragging panna solli kekuthu... vada chellam, unnathan yethir paarthuttu irukkom" (Hey guys look here, here is an fresh novice, who has volunteered himself to be ragged by us... come over buddy, we are jus on the lookout for guys like you!)... Today, looking back, I practically feel like the Swaminathan (Saambu Monae asking what is the procedure to change the room) from Vasool Raja MBBS movie. When they finally saw the colour drain off my face, and they practically conjured every rag up their sleeve to vindicate me, someone in the gang said, Machan innaikku pothum, anuppu avana! (All right guys, lets call it off, send him away).
   As I drugded back to the lecture hall, thinking the ordeal was over, I hear another guttural laugh, but this time around more familiar and as i eerily turned around for another showdown, it was my very own batchmates. The mockery was humiliating and I was at the verge of a breakdown, when one of them offered to say something that hit me like a boomerang... machan avanuga koopta nee poiduviya?? (Dude if they call u, will u just go off to meet them?). As I was gathering the shattered pieces of my collective senses, he went to confess that it was his friends and him who had staged the senior act on the call.. and then viola everything made sense!!! Such moron moments were galore those days...
More to write... as i recollect!!